April 15th Friday

Today I went to work and felt like a duck out of water. A lot of things you can not scan in the computer so you have to look them up. I couldn't remember what to look up. I felt like I couldn't keep up with all the customers. I am sure I will get it all in another week, but right now it is crazy. I feel like I will use my time more wisely at home now that I work. Sometimes I feel like I can't accomplish in a day what I need too. But at least now I get days off so I can actually accomplish a lot on those days off. Work can be a good thing for me, it will help bring back confidence. I don't have to worry about putting things under my name any more. I just talk to people and let them write things up, living without commission will be great for me. I think when you work on commission it makes you get angry easy, that will no longer be a part of my life. I think it is sad that I won't ever make anymore money, but I will deal with what ever is necessay right now. I love cooking and especially with the Bosch. I have done it my whole life so it is what I know. I will make money at what I know.

Our weekly attendance at the temple was wonderful. I love the temple and I am so grateful that I can be there. I can't express my gratitude for this one great blessing in my life.

April 14th Thursday

I have been wondering about a lot of things lately. I suddenly got a call from BKC and Kenmarie wanted me to work for her on Saturday. She has a doctors appointment so she can't be in until the 12:30, so I needed to go in at 10:00. Interesting I haven't even gotten a call that I am working there yet. Then I get another call from Colleen telling me that I am working tomorrow at 2:00 with her. Apparently I have been in the computer as a worker since conference. That is so interesting to me because I haven't gotten a call. This is not what I want and yet I know that I need to do something. Because I need to get over this shaking, which will be incredible. I am getting better at the BKC every day, things are coming back to me in a fast way. I am certainly grateful for that. There is a lot to know. Alma doesn't pay on commission any more, so I will get an hourly wage. I was surprise when it was 12 dollars an hour. I know I was making more when I worked there before. But I felt like I was doing everything, now I am just another employee that tries to work hard like everyone else. We had another great Primary Meeting and found new people to fill positions. We are loving being in the primary.

April 13th Wednesday

I think that the clouds seem to cover the sky and make you think that the day will be a bad day, then it doesn't rain or snow, it just stays cold and over cast. One of the vices in my life is beautiful scenery. I would love to tour the country just to see the beauty of the earth. I marvel at all the beauty around, especially when I look for it. I know that the Lord gives us these beautiful pictures to brighten our day when we feel down. I think that changes in the weather can be some what annoying, especially when it seems to be cold all the time. But the cold weather is worth it when you have a beautiful night that will make all the frustration you are feeling go away, because the beauty is breath taking.

April 12th Tuesday

It is another wonderful day outside. I know that spring brings beauty all around. I love the beautiful flowers. The apricot and peach trees are in blossom, and as you drive you see greenery every where. It is like a dead and worn out world suddenly comes to life again. It is so fun to see new plants just peeking there tiny heads out of the earth. I look at my back yard and I see daffodils, tulips and trees bursting with greenery. I want to shoot for joy because I feel so alive. I think that is the way the earth feels as well. I know why people love spring. I love it because suddenly I feel as though I can do anything. It is refreshing to feel like life is just starting again, and the plants feel the same way, because that is exactly what they are doing, starting again.

April 11th Monday

I have been truly blessed. My children are wonderful and never cease to amaze me with their abilities and talents. They are wonderful mothers and fathers to their children. Those of them who are not married will one day be wonderful parents as well. I know within my heart what great examples they are to the people around them. I am grateful for their example. I marvel at the great capacity that they have to explain themselves in such simple ways and can make me be a better person by their example. I know how tough it is for them sometimes and yet they seem to always make the right choice, the choice that at times isn't easy at all. I find myself at times not having the faith that I need. Then I have a daughter call me and tell me that I need to own it. I need to know that the Lord will take care of me and my family. JL will get pregnant. We will own our home in a short time. Miracles will happen. My children who are not married will chose those people who will realize that the most important thing to them is, "The Gospel of Jesus Christ". He will take care of them and will provide them a young man who holds and honors his priesthood above all else. I remember when I was a young girl and I read a story in the Especially for Mormons book. It was entitled "My Dream Girl". It was what I centered my life around. And I am so grateful that I did, because I got a man whom I love, and he loves me. He is so kind and gentle and makes me feel like a princess most of the time. I am divinely grateful for my Heavenly Father for sending him to me.

April 10th Sunday

I love being in our ward. The people there make life so fun. Every child I have in primary I have learned to love. It makes me way sad when they graduate and go on to Young Men and Young women. One of my primary kids graduated today. I remember when we first were put into our new ward, I saw this young man run around the gymnasium as a small child. Now he is 12 years old and graduating from primary. It saddens me because this young man is a real asset to our primary, but I know that he will make an extremely wonderful strong young man. A real tribute to that organization. Changes have been made in the young single adult wards. Our young ladies will know longer meet in our building. They will meet in a completely different ward building, and be in their own stake which constites of young people. I know it will be wonderful for them, but it won't be so fun for those of us who are their parents, because we wo't see them in the halls on Sunday. Changes are wonderful I know that, but in a way very sad.

April 9th Saturday

I have spent my Saturday working on sharing time and running back and forth to Creativity. Diane is doing a demonstration there on pottery clay. She did a fantastic job. I wished I could have stayed longer but my sharing time needed to get done. I knew what I was going to do, I just needed time to do it. I found a good sized sheep on the Internet, then I printed off 14 sheep, and cut them out. It was time to research the scriptures. I wanted to find scriptures that showed Christ example for us to follow. I did and came up with some amazing things. I know that we will not make it through all the sheep in the amount of time we have for the sharing time, but it will be fun to do. For the younger children I just picked out a story to read, plus showed pictures of Christ and his example. Then I had them color a heart or their hands. Hands to depict service or love from out hearts. I hope all works out well tomorrow. David came by tonight. He wanted me to go to a meeting with him in Spanish Fork, but with all I had to do it was not in the works. But I know that Protandim is our number 1 goal and we need to work hard at it.